i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
