Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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