i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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