i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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