he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
