Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
