your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
