Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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