does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
