I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
