Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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