oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
