KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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