Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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