What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
