i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
