Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
