would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Edward fifth and chaser hands
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
