So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
