9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
