so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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