Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
honey bunches of taint.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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