How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
