Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
