I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
