Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i now understand why vodka
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
