Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
