i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Boobs speak an international language.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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