Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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