i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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