Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I did not marry a roomba.
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