watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
my liver is dry heaving
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
