My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
