all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
