You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
