Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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