I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
