I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
