can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
