508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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