he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
