I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
