1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dear god my vagina.
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