Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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