id be glad to
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
