DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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