The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
