dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
