if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
