White coat. Heels.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
