I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
