Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
how does that bad decision feel?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
