You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
