it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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